Thursday, January 31, 2008

"Give up trying to improve yourself.
Let your true self,
Be yourself."

("Woman" sculpture)

When I said, I QUIT, I got some interesting feedback. Many women who read it, loved it. They seemed to know what I meant right away. The men, however, were shocked. They seemed to need to give me a pep talk. You know like the old phrase, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going." Funny thing is, before breaking my wrist, I'd have said the same thing to a friend or myself. But I also know that my resolution had nothing to do with needing support, a pep talk or being tough. Just the opposite in fact.

So when my son handed me one of his college reading assignments last weekend to help me out, I read it and took it to heart. What he didn't realize was that we were both on the same page, really. Mine was on my blog and his was for a class. But the message was the same.

The quote above from the college reading assignment sums it up best I think. And when I took the article back to him, I pointed it out as a good new year's quote. Then, I told him to read my blog and he might find out that maybe I didn't need a pep talk on being get tough.

What I really needed was to be kind, instead. By giving up trying to improve myself, I was quitting being so tough on myself. Seeing my true self and accepting that without pushing, pulling or molding myself. And allowing me to be the real me.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008


Riverdance and Blue Man Group

I know it sounds odd, but after seeing Riverdance on Tuesday and Blue Man Group on Saturday, I'm struck by how a celtic dance show and a alternative rock performance are telling a similar story about the human need to be unique and to belong.

Riverdance tells the story of the Irish/Scottish immigrants struggle to survive cultural genocide by the British and starvation during the potatoe famine by sailing to the new world enslaved to the British. It tells of their fight for freedom, for opportunity, for acceptance in America.

Blue Man Group's show "How to be a mega-rock star, 2.1" pokes fun at the American Idol/Guitar Hero phenomenon. The three men in blue makeup and black suits watch and learn the basics of rock-star poses, music and light-show affects along with the audience. Behind the group, however, is a video that shows ordinary people in office cubicles longing to belong and 'be stars' in their own lives.

Both shows were colorful, entertaining, beautiful, funny, and poignant. Both showed that people are still trying to better themselves whether it's by finding a new place on the earth or on the video screen. Both showed the enduring human need for acceptance whether it's based on native culture or popular culture.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

New years resolution:


I know it sounds bad, but bear with me. I'm started this new year with a broken wrist and my arm in a cast. If you've read the last two posts, you'll know that I've learned some new things about my old way of life that need to be changed, rearranged or dropped entirely.

(season series: Winter)

So here goes:

  • I QUIT...trying so hard and pushing myself to exhaustion.

  • I QUIT...multi-tasking, rushing around to feel 'productive'.

  • I QUIT...scheduling my life around other people's schedules.

  • I QUIT...measuring my hips and thighs.
  • I QUIT...disecting my past and present to try to prevent future mistakes.

  • I QUIT...letting fear run my life.

  • I QUIT...eating fake food.

  • I QUIT...buying into any fear-based drug, food or health information.

  • I QUIT...blaming myself for other peoples problems.

  • I QUIT...taking everything and everyone so seriously.
  • I QUIT...solitude and solemnity in my creative life.

  • I do lists.

  • I goals, money goals, health goals, parenting goals...any goals.

  • I QUIT...listening to my Inner Nun that I never measure up. Break her ruler and the rules.

Long list, I know. But the short version is to make this year, a truly new year. Say goodbye to fear and hello to comfort, joy and honest desire. Wherever that may take me with my life.

What would you add to the list? Go brave...I QUIT...YOU CAN TOO.

Friday, January 04, 2008

One hand on deck.

Or what can be done with one hand and a broken wrist.

Since the last post, I've spent many hours in 'recovery'. Icing my hand. Heating my shoulder. Excercising my fingers. Staying ahead of the pain with pills, movies and more movies. I'm just now able to comfortably, although inconviently, hold a magazine and turn the pages. Read a book without it closing on me. And with the many finger excercises, I'm able to type at a reasonable pace, at last. Which means, I'm able to post on my blog without it taking me several hours to type.

Yes, with only one hand on deck, so to speak, for the last few weeks I've learned that doing simple things can become very complicated and difficult.

Try to tie shoes one handed. Pull up your jeans, zip and button them. Zip your sweater or coat. Pull on gloves. Get into your purse and wallet. Put on earrings with posts or a necklace. Hold a newspaper or magazine open so you can read it. Open bottles, jars or cans. Blowdry your hair. Floss your teeth. Sweep the floor. Pick up your cat. File your nails. Open a teabag in a foil wrapper. Cut a steak or sandwich. Just getting dressed takes full-time concentration. Make that almost anything that was mind-wanderingly simple now requires total and complete attention.

Frustrating, yes. And

Weird, I know. But because I have to pay complete attention to the task at hand(sorry about the pun), step by step, my mind can't wander. I can't multi-task. That I've discovered can be a good thing. No more negative self-talk while I dry my hair, because I'm concentrating too hard on just getting my hair dry. No more talking on the phone while doing my dust mopping. No more answering email while I eat, watch TV and talk to my husband. No more watching a movie while I crochet.

When I read, I read. When I type, I type. When I walk in the park, talk on the phone, or take a shower, I do it with total concentration.

I am where I am. And maybe, that's right where I should be? Where are you?